‘My daughter keeps asking me about her father, she’s never seen him before’ – Uche Ogbodo

Nollywood actress, Uche Ogbodo’s marriage to footballer husband Atto Ubby was fraught with controversies and crashed just after a couple of months in 2014. The marriage was so short-lived that the husband never knew she was pregnant.

Uche Ogbodo

Seemingly crushed and heartbroken, Uche relocated to US and returned some couple of years ago to reclaim her position as one of the leading ladies in Nollywood.

Now a single mother, Uche continues her life, winning some battles and losing some. Here is what she told Vanguard about how she’s been coping with not having her baby’s father in their child’s life.

’How is life now as a single mum compared to when you were married?
Life is more fulfilling for me. As a single mother, life is more fulfilling than it would have been as a single girl without a child.
Though, I’m still single and unmarried, but I would say if I used to be too emotional, needy or petty, all that is gone, my child fills that vacuum for me.
When I want to look into someone’s eyes and feel loved, I have all that in my daughter. She has helped me rebuild myself. 50% of the woman I have become comes from my having a baby. It has turned me around to the very destiny I was born to accomplish.

Does that mean you’re not looking forward to a new relationship?
I’m still hoping to find that wonderful human being that would fill the remaining part of my needs. I’m open to anything. Yes, I’m dating, but I haven’t found the one.

What is your relationship with your ex like? Are you on talking terms?
No, we’re not talking. He doesn’t keep in touch, but that’s fine.

Some people are of the view that it’s better to be a baby-mama than to be married, what’s your opinion on this growing trend?
I’m a single mother already. It happened by fate. I never wanted it to happen this way. I wanted to be married. I think it’s an individual thing. I don’t judge people.
If you think you don’t want to get married, you just want to be a baby-mama. For heaven’s sake, it’s your life.
But if you think that marriage is what works for you, then all well and good. I want to get married. I need a partner in my life, because I don’t think I want to spend the rest of my life alone with my children.
Even at this age, my daughter keeps asking me about her father.
She has never seen him. This isn’t what I want and it hurts me sometimes. But what can I do and I am hoping that I can get a good daddy for my daughter.
I don’t want a daddy that would hurt me and my child, but one that would love us both. So, I’m not in a hurry.

I pray that someday I will be able to say to my daughter ‘This is your daddy’ because every time she asks I never say anything.

What’s your idea of ‘the one’?
I don’t like to say, because you never know. Back in the days, I used to say this is the kind of man I want and all that but you know, we’re women and when a different kind of man comes and lies to you, you just fall head over heels. In the past, I always painted pictures, but eventually, I fell for the wrong person. So, let God give me the kind of man that he knows is best for me. I’m open to that different kind of man that is not in my picture.

You’re looking so different and trimmed, what’s with the new look?
It’s all in the package of becoming a better person. You can’t keep saying ‘I want to be successful’ when you don’t look successful. You need to work on yourself, though it takes a lot of endurance and discipline. To get there, I knew I had to grab it ‘by fire by force’ and it has, to begin with, my appearance. I have to impress people so that my looks will match my name. My former body was banging but not exactly how I wanted it. I want the banging killer body and this (my new body) is killing it (Laughs)

What has fame robbed you off and what doors has it opened for you?
Fame has brought me recognition. Fame has brought me pain and fortune. Fame has also erased the real me from the eyes of people, but I’m not going to cry about it.
I believe that I have two personalities, so I project my famous part as ‘goddess’ and my personal part as ‘Uche’. I have been able to separate both.
So, if I’m getting any hate from people, I channel it to ‘goddess’. You’re not insulting the real Uche. People judge me based on who I’m not and refuse to see who I really am.
I don’t blame them because they don’t know the real me, they just take me at TV face value. But it’s fine.
Fame has also brought me negative attention from guys in the area of relationship. People tend to fall in love with you on TV and not the real you. And when they get to know the real you, they might not like it, but still stick around just because you’re famous.
And then you end up hurting each other because the relationship is fake and based on fantasy. Whichever character I played that you fell in love with is not me. So, it’s really crazy.

What’s the worst thing you’ve heard about yourself?
I have heard that I’m possessed and that I’m gay. I’ve heard that I’m ugly, In fact I hear that one everyday. But when they get to meet me, they are surprised and they say ‘Ooh you’re beautiful’. But all those things don’t bother me. The real Uche is wonderful, calm, gorgeous in and out.